Idiots don't fall in love, they jump in love
by OkiKagu HiruMamo
Summary: One illegal move was it all it took to fall in love with your rival HAHAHAHHAA


IDIOTS DON'T FALL IN LOVE, THEY JUMP IN LOVE

It was a typical afternoon for Kagura. She's walking her giant dog as an excuse to get out of their house because Shinpachi started ranting about her and Gin-chan being lazy bums and can't even clean a single tile on their bathroom, blah blah blah.

Before Shinpachi could explode like the housewife that he is, she chose to run to the door and called Sadaharu "for a walk" in the park since they have no clients today.

"Oi, Kagura-chan, come back here and help me clean up--"

She tuned out the rest of the glasses stand's shouts and started heading to her favorite park for a stroll.

One box of Sukonbu and three screams of horror later (well, because some people are still terrified seeing her unusual dog), she finally arrived at her desired destination.

The park is full of people. Kids playing Frisbee or dodgeball, lovers displaying their disgusting affection with their partners and families having picnics (which made her hungry).

She sighed and sat down on her distinguished bench. "Go and play out there, Sadaharu, I'll watch you from here." She said and the unusual giant dog barked as if it understood her. It started walking to its favorite spot and seconds later, Kagura heard kids screaming as the dog started chasing them for fun. Some people who have gotten used to the dog just glanced at the ruckus then came back to their business while some started running for their lives.

Kagura just smirked like the twisted person that she is. 'Classic. This never gets old.' She thought while leaning on the backrest of the bench, watching the situation in mild amusement.

Ah, this day is starting to get better.

But boy she spoke too soon.

Not even five minutes passed, her peace was disturbed by the last person she wanted to see today.

"Oi, China." came a deadpan voice.

"Seriously, why did I think that this day would go smoothly?" she asked herself bitterly. "Damn. Here I thought you were done for good. You just had to ruin my day." she complained facing him now. Her face is contorted in clear annoyance. "Go away."

"Believe me, China-pig, you are the last person I wanted to see too but since I am a dedicated policeman," Kagura snorted and then rolled her eyes at that. Sougo continues, unfazed by his rival's rude behavior. "I can't turn a deaf ear to our people's complaint over a 'giant' dog making a ruckus in the public park, chasing little brats and tossing them to the fountain as if it's normal." Sougo replied or more like drawled lazily.

"Tch, good to know, sadist," was her answer to his first sentence and then continues by saying "But since you said you can't stand my presence then I think you won't mind if I stay with Sadaharu a little longer, yes? Good luck with the complaints." She said with a shit-eating grin as a revenge.

You'd think they would stop their childish banter now that they're 20 and 24 years old respectively? Ha, think again.

Though both public and private properties are now safe from destruction because they stopped fighting physically, their insults and banter intensified. Even after all these years.

"Insulting a poor policeman on duty, I'll add that to the list so I can arrest you." He wrote down on his notepad that Kagura didn't noticed he's holding.

The girl remained unfazed by his threat and just crossed her arms. She faced her front already ignoring the sadist behind her. It's not like she can do anything to stop Sadaharu from throwing the kids on the park fountain. Nowadays, her dog have the tendency to throw a tantrum at home if she forcefully stop it from doing what it wants to do. Much to Gin-san's chagrin. Her point? It's much better if she let it be because she doesn't want to hear Gin-chan's nonstop pestering in the middle of the night when Sadaharu would start scratching their walls or chewing their already tattered sofa.

"Stop pretending you are doing your job, Sadist, it doesn't suit you to be honest." She said after moments of silence. "It makes you look like a fool-- not that you're not a fool already." She added.

"Che, you talk like you're not a fool yourself, China. Don't be high and almighty if you are speaking like an idiot, you aru-aru girl." Sougo retorted back as he casually sits next to her, pocketing his small notepad.

"Here's the ticket, you know the way to the police station yourself." He said, stamping the small piece of paper on her forehead that made her look up forcefully at the impact.

She grunted and loss her balance at the process but she managed to land a light punch on his right upper arm. Tch.

"Is that how you treat a lady?!" She shouted but he didn't even budge at her loud voice. Over the years of being rivals-and-friends-sometimes, the Shinsengumi Captain have gotten used to her loud mouth. "No wonder you don't have a wife until now because you are an insufferable sadist."

"No wonder you don't have a boyfriend until now because of that stinking mouth of yours. It always reeks of that disgusting snack and rude words."

"Ha, who needs a boyfriend? All I need is to eat foods and play with Sadaharu to continue living."

"Tsk tsk tsk, I pity Danna and Megane... they're raising a monster who pretends like a girl in a ridiculous dress. Do yourself a favor and die somewhere so I don't have to deal with your mess, China."

"Why don't you go first, damn sadist? I heard that they have a limited slot for sadists like you in hell. Go grab the opportunity, they would love you around." She stuck her tongue after saying that.

"Ohh updated, are we? Didn't know you have an intel from hell. I assumed you already know their new offering? They have an eat-all-you-can services there, you should try it and while you're at it, consider their 'never come back' package."

Yeah, the insults intensified.

Kagura just rolled her eyes and decided to go to her Anego since her day is officially ruined. She would love someone to talk to right now since the sadist captain ruined her good vibes in a span of 10 minutes.

"Sadaharu, let's go! I don't want to waste my time here exchanging breaths with this sadistic bastard." She called at her dog which obeyed her instantly.

Before she can stand, the police officer stopped her from getting up.

"Wait." His grip on her left arm is tight but his focus is somewhere else. Kagura looked at the policeman in confusion.

"The hell you are doing?" She asked confused whilst wiggling her arm from the sadist's grip.

"Quiet!" The captain whisper yelled and began dragging her to the hedges near the park bench to hide, Sadaharu in their tail.

"O-oi, what's gotten into you now?"

"Joui rebels." Was Okita's only reply.

"AND?"

" 'AND' what?" It's Sougo's turn to get confused.

"What I mean is... so what? I don't have anything to do with them so why are you dragging me in this damn itchy hedges with you?"

"Duh, you are arrested remember?" Okita said in the most 'WTF DUH' tone she ever heard. "You really think I'll let a criminal go without paying their penalty?" He deadpanned.

"I'm not a criminal, I should be the one dragging you to the police station because of harassing a beautiful girl like me and didn't you just say that I can go to the police station by myself 40 seconds ago? Idiot." Kagura hissed and tried wiggling her arm again. Okita ignored her smart reply and his grip tighten by the minute, Kagura feels like her arm would snap any time now.

"O-ow, sadist, let go of me!" She yelled only for Sougo to clamp his hand on her mouth.

"Let's make a deal, China."

That shut her up.

"I'll take that as a yes." He turned his gaze on the Joui rebels casually exchanging a wrapped paper. For an ordinary people, the two rebels looked like they are chatting about the weather but since they have no idea that the First Division Captain of Shinsengumi is around the corner, Sougo counted this day as his lucky one. Arresting the china elephant-pig is just a bonus. He smirked inwardly.

"I'll let go of your offense in exchange of your help for capturing that two rebels." Okita whispered and removed his big hand on her mouth.

Kagura grinned like a maniac. "So, you're finally admitting that you suck at arresting harmless rebels? Hohoho. Deal."

Sougo gritted his teeth and ignored her again. She still have the time to vex him.

To be continued.

A/N: hohohoho I'm back after 1234567890 years of writer's block. This is unedited. The grammatical errors can make someone's scalp turned numb so I'm sorry in advance. I'm not an English-speaker so my English level of fluency is around early kindergarten. Anyway, thank you my loyal readers for sticking with me and my *cough cough* (mediocre) stories. You guys are awesome.


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